dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
