Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
