Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
