So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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