I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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