I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
its liver damage thursday
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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