i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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