He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
