He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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