I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
