i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All the doctor said was why
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
