is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i drank out of a bidet.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
