He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
