dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
