woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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