Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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