Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
