Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
