Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
