if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
