South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
