And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
