All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
