Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I could fuck to npr.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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