everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
