Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
