Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
