OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
