i think i have two assholes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
