Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
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