your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize