If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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