I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.