Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
