I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.