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what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Randomize
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