I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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