Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
