I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
