Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
