so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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