real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
