ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
