And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
