i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
