A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
