Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're a waste of cheezeits
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
