You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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