i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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