i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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