In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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