so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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