i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize