I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
