Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
