I want to have your abortion
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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