life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
