don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
